welcome to the first ever installment of filbert reads his mail, bucko! huh huh huh. this is where filbert reads his mail from his many friends! i don't want to waste any more time! let's get to reading some letters, bucko!
I wasn't expecting a letter from you,
so imagine my surprise when I not
only got a letter but a gift, too! How
did you know I always wanted a
green bed? It will look great in my
house! Don't be a stranger now.
dear gaston, no problemo! i am glad that you like your new gift. i found it in the recycling bin and thought of you. hope to play tiddlywinks with you again soon.
Listen, you pompous fucker. What kind of bitter fucking fanboy are you to give Gears of War 2 a low score? Go back to playing with your faggot Pokemon and your queer MySims, you cunt.
oh my! filbert doesn't understand most of these words in this letter! these must be words that people smarter than filbert use. this letter must be for superphillip, i guess. i don't know why it was left inside my mailbag, bucko. i will make sure he gets it! huh huh huh.
Hello again, dearest. This is your mother
writing to you! huh huh HUH. I just wanted
to say how proud I am of my little boy. You
make my heart cry tears of happiness...
and cherry soda! Mmm... I made myself
thirsty for some cherry soda. Talk to you
later, my little man!
:O a letter from filbert's mom! i promised myself i wouldn't cry, bucko! don't let them see you cry, filbert. don't let them see you cry! with that, i will close up the mailbag until next time! catch you later today, bucko! huh huh *sniff-sniff*