Two weeks ago on this day we took a look at fifteen of my favorite video game commercials. Each video has five commercials save for the second which only has four. This installments entries include Super Mario Bros. 3, Perfect Dark Zero, Banjo-Tooie, Gears of War, Paper Mario, and more. Let's get to it.
Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES)
This Super Mario Bros. 3 commercial shows a myriad of people shouting Mario in conveniently colored clothes. The camera pans out slowly eventually showing that the folks are standing in a pattern to show a giant Mario face covering all of North America.
Star Fox 64 (N64)
Simulating a test pilot preparing for Star Fox 64, there's not much that can be said about this commercial other than I couldn't for the life of me remember what Star Fox 64's commercial was. Then I saw it recently, and it was like a missing piece in my brain was restored. You know how that is?
Paper Mario (N64)
A very creative commercial using cardboard characters. My favorite part is Peach tied up and hanging over a paper shredder. The horror. The horror! I don't wish to spoil the whole thing, so check it out and enjoy!
Bears can't fly, Banjo! You need a parachute! Banjo doesn't listen and fights the parachute instructor. Banjo leaps from the plane until he realizes Kazooie is nowhere to be to seen! Some gameplay footage ends with Kazooie sipping a mai-tai or some not-for-kiddies drink as Banjo crashes to the ground. He's obviously dead because in Banjo-Kazooie, you'd die from a fall that large. R.I.P. Banjo the bear. That's why he looks so different in Nuts & Bolts.
Perfect Dark (N64)
Perfect Dark's commercial shows Joanna waking up, bathing, grabbing some sort of green drink, applying lipstick, putting on panties, opening her closet to reveal a hidden gun cache, zipping up her leather uniform, and then entering the game world-- having several thousand lonely gamers blowing their loads.
Kirby Canvas Curse (DS)
This commercial is sickeningly cute, and that's why I love it. It shows two costumed characters-- one Kirby and the other a tampon-- traveling along through a city block, playing on a swing set, and other heinously cute acts. It's a fantastic and funny commercial for sure.
Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland (GBA)
With the melody of Secret Agent Man, 3-D animated Kirby shows off his various powers in an ultra-cool fashion, angry eyebrows and all. Not much to say about this commercial as it's one that's just eye candy for Kirby junkies.
Pikmin 2 (GCN)
We see a plethora of "Pikmin" scurrying through city streets. They arrive at two lounging gentlemen who tell the costumed creatures that they retrieved the wrong order. They wanted two hot dogs.
The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages/Oracle of Seasons (GBC)
An epic commercial to say the least, The Legend of Zelda pair of linked handheld adventures feature Link trekking across a snow-covered wasteland, climbing vines to reach a tower's top, and then playing a magical lute all leading up to gameplay footage. Short and sweet.
Crash Team Racing (PS1)
Remember when someone in a Crash Bandicoot costume stood in front of Nintendo and Sega's headquarters with a megaphone? Well, he's back at it again, but this time he's driving a limo. I hope he got used to that job because his games aren't selling that well anymore.
Ratchet & Clank Series (PS2)
A series of commercials from the original Ratchet & Clank all the way to Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal. Each one is hilarious.
Syphon Filter 2 (PS1)
Another funny commercial from Sony's marketing team (where did they go wrong?) where Gabe Logan is blasting at enemies from atop a train. What's shown is in-game footage. Suddenly an enemy cries out wanting a less painful way to die. He chooses an unsuspecting taser, gets jolted by thousands of volts and gets knocked over the edge of the train. Painless enough for you?
Perfect Dark Zero (360)
Someone has stolen files from DataDyne's office building. The commercial shows an investigating team snooping around the building taking evidence such as bullet shells. We see an overly anxious gentleman frightened for his life, perhaps a survivor. After the gameplay video (yep, a commercial showing gameplay? Wow.), we see the man in Joanna's sniper sights.
Gears of War (360)
Accompanied by a somber song, Mad World, an animated scene shows Marcus Fenis walking through a dilapidated alleyway. Suddenly he becomes face to face with a giant Locust creature. This was the most emotional element of the game-- a commercial.