Friday, January 8, 2010

Games Others Liked, I Didn't

A while back, sometime last year, I wrote an editorial regarding games that I enjoyed that the majority of the gaming public might not have. You can check out the aforementioned article here. Anyway, we're going to do a reversal of that idea. This time around we're taking a look at some "popular" games that I don't particularly care for and some reasons why. It's Games Others Liked, I Didn't on SuperPhillip Central.

Gears of War 2 (360)

Take a series made by manchildren for manchildren, and you can automatically see what I hate about this game. You take big burly space marines with steroid addictions, throw in some guns with chainsaws attached to them, visceral violence, profanity, and blood, and a melodramatic story that takes itself way too seriously for how stupid it is, and you get Gears of War 2. My favorite part of this putrid piece of slime is when one of the main character's wives is shown mutated into a repugnant locust. So the sobbing dude takes out a GIANT MAGNUM to blow her away. Overdo it much? Toss in online multi-player that somehow has all of the same glitches and exploits of the original Gears (the original Gears had these issues patched long before the sequel came out), and you can see why Gears 2 grinds my own gears!

Killzone 2 (PS3)

I was immediately taken aback by the level of cursing involved in Killzone 2. Every line was "%#$% this", "$%@$ that", it was embarrassing. That's not how you come across as mature. In fact, that's how you come across as juvenile! Furthermore, the gunplay and controls just didn't feel right. Every gun had heft to it which made aiming very difficult. Why do you need realism with your weapons when this is the same game where we're fighting guys who have to breathe through special black suits? It's a bone-headed decision that just didn't sit well with me and made enjoying the game difficult. Another part of the game that annoyed me was gray. Every level, every area, gray. This is truly next-gen when there's no primary colors to be found. Apart from these negatives, I really did enjoy the multi-player and how it didn't take you out of the game just to change modes. Very intuitive and cool on that side of things for sure.

Dead Space Extraction (Wii)

EA neglected to call this game a light gun shooter for a reason apparently. Light gun shooters have far, far more action in them. There were ten missions in all, but the killer for me was that you couldn't skip dialogue-- this meant you were stuck for minutes at a time listening to the characters squirm and squabble while you're just wanting to blast some necromorphs to hell and back! Additionally, each mission took thirty minutes or more to complete. While that isn't bad all to itself, it is bad when there's no way to save mid-mission. Power go out? You better be ready to start the mission all over again. Finally, the fifty dollar price point definitely got on my nerves. It's far too expensive for a game of this genre, and the consumers made this abundantly clear. As for positive things, the game does look sensational. And none of this "for the Wii" crap either. Either it looks good or it doesn't, and Dead Space Extraction on Wii does look good.

Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (PS3)

Wow, that title's almost as long as a given cut-scene within the game! Almost. That's my main beef with the game. It constantly takes you out of it with a cut-scene! I should not have to sit through fifty minutes to movie just to get to the gameplay. Skip the dialogue, and then I miss out on the god-forsaken bat-%#%& crazy story. Games are not Hollywood. They shouldn't be Hollywood. Games are interactive experiences. The majority of the time spent "playing" Metal Gear Solid 4 is done passively watching cut-scenes unfold. No offense to those who like this game's story, but it's some of the most convoluted garbage I've ever witnessed. It completely ruins past Metal Gear continuity and feels like it was written by a Hollywood hack who couldn't make it in the business, so they decided to go to video games (see: Epic Games).

Punch-Out! (Wii)

The most disappointing game in this list happens to exist on the Wii as Punch-Out!, an update to old NES classic. What can I say about the game? It has everything to succeed from its powerful presentation to its satisfying gameplay. Well, satisfying to the point that it's too damn hard for someone like me! Damn that samoan slugger and his fists of doom! How dare he show that I'm-- as the kids say-- "weak sauce" at this game! Furthermore, there's really not much else to do from the single-player rise to the championship mode. Multi-player is a pure button-masher/waggle-fest (see, kiddies? I'm using the term waggle correctly!). Despite my inadequacies with the game, it is well put together if just not my type of game.

There we are. Five titles that I deem to be disappointing and/or disgusting. Have you some games that are popular yet you don't like them? Let us know in the comments section.


coffeewithgames said...

I agree with Killzone 2, and for your reason as well.
I actually went into the audio menu, and muted the voices out of the game.
Also, the game was very orange, which I found odd.

I just rented MadWorld on the Wii, and it's language is ridiculous as well. Except in MadWorld, there's no way to get around the language, except to play the game muted. It really is ridiculously bad.

As for Dead Space Extraction, I haven't played it, but I definitely wouldn't play $50 for an onrails game, that I would probably play once or twice.

As for Punch-Out, I didn't see why someone would pay $50 for the game, when they could have the old games for either $5 or $8 off the virtual console.

Unknown said...

I found it funny that I said the game was gray, and then I posted screens where the game's a cold green and blue respectively!

coffeewithgames said...

LOL, yea. I don't know why, just most of the outside areas seemed to have an orange filter or something.

Even the last level...the final fight room seemed very orange to me.

Maybe it was my tv, I don't know.

Jebby said...

Ok good, I'm not the only one who thinks that games like Gears & Killzone are the real kiddy games. The same 17 year olds call the Nintendo a kiddy system but it takes real men to play it. To be fair though if the characters in Killzone use to work construction then the language is completely realistic.