Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Nintendo 3DS: Launch Titles to Avoid

Yesterday I listed five launch titles for the Nintendo 3DS that I deemed worthy of a purchase for those seeking out new games for your gorgeous new handheld. With that in mind, let's take a small sample of five games to avoid like the plague. Now this isn't the type of plague where your penis falls off or something gross like that as this is all metaphorical. Anywho, where was I? Ah, yes. Five Nintendo 3DS launch titles to avoid. Let's get to it.

Steel Diver

When you read that Shigeru Miyamoto is taking a hand in a game, you expect a lot. Unfortunately, whatever cool gameplay elements Steel Diver, a new Nintendo IP, has are quickly washed away and submerged in a short campaign. Using the touch screen to control one of three subs through one of seven missions, avoiding mines, destroying enemy battleships from below, and fighting off giant sea creatures is intuitive enough, but by the time it's all over, you'll be wanting a lot more. The augmented reality of moving the 3DS around to search for battleships to sink is cool, but I cannot help but wish Steel Diver was a budget title. This game is simply not enough bang for your buck, and there's so many better more meatier games in the 3DS' launch lineup to pursue and engage.

Bust-A-Move Universe

Priced at a budget price and for good reason, there's little in the way of content and freshness. Where's the multiplayer? Where's the new modes? How long can one player enjoy the single-player mode before wanting more? The answers are in order of the questions: nowhere in sight, there aren't any, and not very long at all. Sure, the addictive nature of this puzzler is present, but it's obvious that Square-Enix just needed a game to push out for launch. This was obviously the best they could come up with. The lack of proper 3D only further hurts this title's cause.

Super Monkey Ball 3D

Aiai and the gang are back, and SEGA is determined to kill this franchise even further. The difficulty is nonexistent until the final world, the game can be completed within an hour as most levels feature a heavy helping of side-rails to prevent your little monkey from falling off the course, and the two accompanying mini-games (one a Mario Kart ripoff and the other a Smash Bros. ripoff) just aren't that much fun. The Monkey Ball series has seen a fierce decline ever since Banana Blitz, and Super Monkey Ball 3D will have you going bananas in a bad way at how poorly and incompetently SEGA has tarnished this once-fun franchise.

Combat of Giants: Dinosaurs 3D

Dinosaurs and 3D-- what possibly could go wrong? In another attempt to steal money from unsuspecting launch buyers, Ubisoft has created this mess of a fighting game. The concept of this buggy game is simple-- add one part Punch-Out! and throw in a heaping helping of prehistoric pals to duke it out against one another. The main problem here is that there is so little content. There's but four classes of dinosaur types to fight, and once all of those are completed, you take on the game's final boss. All this is over within a matter of a few hours. Save your money and buy Jurassic Park if you need your dinosaur fix.

Asphalt 3D

Take a fast-paced racer, throw in some adequate controls via the comfortable circle pad, and then add in online play, and jumble all that with some messy collision detection, numerous glitches, a botched drifting mechanic, and you have Asphalt 3D, another lazy 3DS title from Ubisoft. There is no reason at all to give this game a second glance when you have the far superior Ridge Racer 3D on the same platform for the same price. Do yourself a favor and if you have the need for speed, get Ridge Racer 3D instead.


Hopefully this list you readers will take to heart as these launch titles just aren't up to snuff. They're either rushed for launch or just have something that is too difficult to overlook. Hope you 3DS owners are enjoying your new handheld!


Anonymous said...

I would argue that the Super Monkey Ball franchise peaked at game #1, with the second best game being Super Monkey Ball 2. It's the only franchise I can think of with such a smooth, unyielding quality decline.

The Dread Pirate Guy said...

It's a shame Steel Diver isn't any good. The Nintendo Channel video made it look awesome.

I have Super Street Fighter IV and Lego Star Wars III. I'm considering getting Nintendogs and Pilotwings due to Toys R Us' ongoing sale right now.