Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Top Five Annoying Types of Gamers

Okay, okay. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Phil. PHIL. You complain and lambast gamers on a constant basis. Why do I need to read another article of you whining about a group that really does no harm to you?" My answer would be, "Touche, worthy adversary." Actually, I have found that there are five types of the gamer subculture that I find most obnoxious. Perhaps you will agree with me on some of these choices, but probably not.

5) The Overly Competitive Gamer

Mad or constipated? You be the judge.
When I play a multiplayer game online, I hate it when I get teamed up with someone who takes the nature of the game way too seriously. Don't get me wrong, it's okay to be competitive, but when you get to the point where you are literally screaming at your teammates, opponents, and the TV and breaking controllers over less than satisfactory multiplayer scenarios, you've got problems. I used to have this issue with games when I was younger, but then I realized that nothing good could come out of getting angry over a game. I can get frustrated and go, "Come on, game..." but I don't go all The Shining Jack Nicholson on people anymore. Games are supposed to be fun, and there is nothing worse than having that fun spoiled by someone who is overly aggressive. I have had death threats from people I've beaten, kids calling me homophobic slurs, and being told to casually "get raped." That's sort of the reason I steer clear of online multiplayer usually unless its of the cooperative nature. Then there's that awkward moment when you are the same tangible (not virtual) room as the person getting upset. You feel for them and understand their frustration, but you still just want them to shut the hell up and cool the hell down. 

4) The Gamer Trapped Within Their Comfort Zone

This type of gamer irritates me. I mean, truly. One of their most popular buzzwords to say is "gimmick." This doesn't mean an innovative feature or gameplay element to them. No, it really means "something about this that I don't like." The November 2011 release of The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (SPC's GotY 2011, by the by) was one of the most egregious moments of this type of gamer's history. Rather than try to comprehend a new control scheme, a vocal minority argued that the game had horrible controls and all you did was waggle. For anyone who has invested some serious time into the imperfect title, you know that if all you are doing is shaking the Wii remote around like you're having convulsions to try to do delicate swordplay, you're doing it wrong. This gamer type just doesn't like trying stuff out of their comfort zone. Touch controls? Ha. Motion control? Keep dreaming! Tablet controller? Gimmick! It's a shame that this gamer won't allow him or herself to try different gaming experiences. If gaming was up to them, we'd be using dual analog on consoles for all time instead of evolving to better and more comfortable solutions.

Even Link hates when people try to "waggle" through his game.

3) The Gaming Snob

Well, at least he is a handsome devil.
You probably have met this type of gamer. They will turn up their nose at you for playing a game that they deem inferior to their tastes. And don't even get them started on casual gaming experiences. Not only do they call it all shovelware, but they feel insulted when "soccer moms and grandpas" enter their hobby. Far be it from anyone to allow new players to enter our hobby. No, this type of gamer wishes for his or her hobby to remain clean. What I find humorous about all of this is that the gaming snob acts all high and mighty on high tech toys, which video games and the consoles and handhelds that play them essentially are. I imagine this person wearing a top hat, monocle, and a fine suit, sipping their vermouth from a thin-lipped wine glass. So keep fighting the good fight, gaming snob, telling people that playing Wii Fit, LEGO games, and Just Dance makes them beneath you and your superior gaming tastes.

2) The Entitled Gamer

I don't want to delve too deeply into the Mass Effect 3 ending-gate, but it sort of goes along with what this type of gamer is all about. The developers essentially had to change their vision of the series just because of the cries of some entitled gamers. That isn't the way I see how art should work. Now, it is fine to not want to take garbage from developers and publishers. It is fine to want things. But when you cross the line into desire everything and immediately so, you become more annoying and come across as overly entitled.

Don't worry. We'll fix that ending right up for you guys!
Reggie Fils-Amie of Nintendo stated last month that gaming culture is insatiable (among other things). I agree because no matter what a company pushes out onto the market or reveals, the entitled gamer always wants more. There is never enough. Continuing with Nintendo, recently the Club Nintendo prizes for America were revealed. However, the entitled gamer once again moaned and groaned. Now, free stuff that doesn't have to be given to you is not enough? Seriously? I sort of would be interested to see the Club Nintendo program shut down. Then we would truly see some considerable whining and disappointed gamers.

1) The Console Warrior

We all have biases towards our gaming tastes. We prefer one platform over another, or we enjoy games from one company and not another. However, while this is normal and acceptable behavior, defending your console of choice to the death/attacking a console you dislike to extremes is most certainly not. In the Nintendo VS. SEGA days, playgrounds were filled with heated debates regarding which was better. This was one of the earliest and most prominent console wars. It basically came down to kids and families only being able to afford one home console, either the Super Nintendo or the SEGA Genesis. Essentially the root of all console wars for non-adults stems from not being bable to possess all platforms. With the advent of the Internet and for better or worse, it became easy peasy to get involved in intense conversations that are riddled with personal attacks and the like. But this time around you had anonymity on your side to hide behind. And we all know that anonymity + audience = total ****wad.

The sad part is that this guy is not joking.
Then there's trolling which is rampant on message boards. To troll is to illicit a response from someone in an incendiary way. "I used to like Nintendo, but I'm not ten anymore." "Halo is great if you are a racist, homophobic 12 year old who enjoys vast quantities of Mountain Dew." "Poor Vita. Like the rest of the world, even Sony doesn't care about you." And so forth. This is sort of reason why I don't like to frequent comment sections or message boards. This kind of material is standard form at these places.


Surely you have your own sets of gamer that you don't like. How about smart-mouthed blogger? Enlighten the SPC community with your insight below!

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