Thursday, June 11, 2009

Comments Like This Annoy Me.

Hey, gang. I'd like to refute various comments I've read on the internets since E3. This isn't meant solely for the person who wrote them (it's really not for them at all), instead it's for like-minded people. Perhaps you'll agree with some of (or none of, pessimists) my points.

"No one gave a shit about four-player Super Mario Bros. I dunno about you. But I really don't care any more about jumping and hitting brick platforms with my skull to elicit coins and mushrooms. I've grown up. I'm not a Toys R' Us Kid any more." - James Mielke

Now for those who don't know who James Mielke is (everyone basically), he is the person who was under leadership of EGM when it went out of business. I will not say that he is the reason it happened, but if 1up somehow goes under as he's the leader of that, then we'll know for sure, right? I winked right now. Did you see it? He also said in his LittleBigPlanet review that-that game had more originality in it than the last five Mario games put together. I'm sensing a bias here, yeah? He runs 1up, too. That's the sad thing.

That notwithstanding, I'm sure the millions who purchased New Super Mario Bros. and haven't become jaded manchildren can say that yes, they "gave a shit". And let me say that yeah, people like Milkman (that is his nickname, right?) still are Toys 'R Us kids. Instead of playing with your G.I. Joe action figures, you're now playing your Halo, Gears of War, Killzone, and any of the plethora of lack-of-personality military shooters. You just don't have the power anymore of posing Marcus Fenix with his hands on his crotch like you could with the Cobra Commander action figure. What? We ALL did it. Instead of facing off against Cobra, you're now facing off against the Horde, the Locust, or the Helghast. Instead of shouting "die, Cobra Commander" you're shouting "get raped" or "die, n*****".

To somehow say that people who enjoy Mario, a game with personality and doesn't need to pretend it's mature by adding guns, blood, swearing, and a lack of primary colors, are childish is an incredibly incompetent and hypocritical stance to take. Is there any wonder why so many of you game jour-- game press people are continuing to become more and more irrelevant? If that makes me a "Toys 'R Us" kid, then bring Geoffrey over so we can laugh at 30 year old bodies with 14 year olds trapped in them. What annoys me most is that these people being in the industry, having a bunch of sheep who hang on their every word, and then these people shout out the same garbage on message boards everywhere because their fearless leader said it, spreading the ignorance to an insufferable level.

"Super Mario Galaxy 2 sums up everything wrong with Nintendo." - GamesRadar

I think we could easily find a bounty of articles summing up everything that is wrong with the industry and GamesRadar in general, but I digress. The argument is that Super Mario Galaxy 2 is a rehash because it's not a new IP or whatever. InFamous is a new IP, yes? But it's really just Crackdown with electrical powers. That makes it automatically better than an old IP tied with a totally new gameplay mechanic? No. It makes you an idiot. Congrats. So tell me why Ratchet & Clank: A Crack in Time-- a game that is somewhere around the seventh game in seven years or so with the same formula isn't called a rehash but the sequel to one of the greatest games of this generation is-- especially when we've just seen ONE trailer? Are some of you REALLY that against a video game company? Well, enjoy staying irrelevant. Between mouth-breathers and socially accepted people, I'll take something inbetween.

"Natal = Wii killer" - Bette Midler

Microsoft's Natal is an impressive piece of technology. I mean, sure now motion controls are cool and Nintendo is doomed. I'm sure a bunch of message board people have blown their loads when they smiled and said that. Then their moms came in and kicked them out of their basements. Regardless, how is it a killer of the Wii? Suddenly a company that has never put out a mass-market product of any success will do so? Suddenly a bunch of the mass market Wii owners will buy 360s? It doesn't make sense. I don't understand why anyone would want a console to fail either. That's extremely embarrassing. You don't get to whine that the industry isn't taken seriously and then post such garbage. Then again, most who post such slime are the same ones who think all Wiis are in the closets, no one buys games, and everything that is positive towards the Wii isn't true.

Regardless, I really hope Natal allows current HD games with motion control. I'd love to play Halo with Natal or something like that. It's good for all gamers, so don't try to bring your console wars nonsense into everything.


Christopher Jon said...

I thought the exact same thing when Mielke wrote that, and I was going to leave a message on his blog but decided not even to dignify it with a response.
It's amazing the amount of hate Nintendo gets just because they give people what they want (they even give people stuff they don't want, look at Excitebots!).

The comment by GamesRadar doesn't even make sense. Surely Wii Sports Resort sums up everything wrong with Nintendo, but not Mario Galaxy 2. So what if it isn't a new IP. Forza 3 isn't a new IP yet I don't see people pissin all over that game.

As for Natal, who knows? Maybe this will get Nintendo to introduce WiiSii for the next Wii system. Either way so long as the technology works I think it will be a success...just like the Playstation Eye.

SpinachPuffs said...

You more or less summed up everything that annoyed me in the aftermath of E3, only with slightly more reserve than the blog post I put up...

The Dread Pirate Guy said...

New Super Mario Bros Wii will be a lot of fun, with catchy music, tight controls, and great level design.

That said, they really dropped the ball on not adding online to it. This could have been the next Brawl or MArio Kart, and it's incomprehensible that they would choose not to include this feature.

You know reviewers are going to kill the game for that no matter how good the game is otherwise.