Some retro reviews we delve into on SuperPhillip Central have a contextual purpose. They might be because of another game in its series seeing a new entry or have something to make it topical. This is not the case with Swingerz Golf. Instead, it's merely because I wanted to try out an arcade golf game that I overlooked (for reasons detailed in this review) and wished to just share my thoughts. Regardless, here is the SPC review of the oddly titled Swingerz Golf.
We have Hot Shots Golf at home.
Let's start off by mentioning the elephant in the room with us--or at least the elephant on the golf course with us. The name Swingerz Golf, to me, is incredibly stupid and seems to be meant to appeal to the lowest common denominator around. Sure, it was the 2000s, and seemingly everything in the West, particularly in the United States needed an edge to it because a fair number of my fellow countrymen, as proven by multiple modern elections in which they voted to shoot themselves and their country in the face for "reasons", are also incredibly stupid. Sorry, not sorry. This golf game was developed as Waiwai Golf in Japan and Ace Golf in Europe. It's only North America that contains the idiotic branding that doesn't fit this otherwise cutesy and colorful golf game at all. Well done, to the publisher Eidos, for dooming this seemingly serviceable golf game before it ever even took to the tee.
Swingerz Golf needed all the help it could get when it released back in 2002. It was a golf game exclusive to the Nintendo GameCube, suffered from being marketed to the wrong crowd, and I personally avoided it because I thought it was more like Outlaw Golf than something appealing to me like Hot Shots Golf was and still is, which this game really models itself after.
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| Ooh-wah. Right down the middle, baby! |
From the gallery cheering your player on, heckling at times, making mention of the wind with various non sequiturs, to each of the game's six courses allow you to have a round in each of the four seasons, to interface similarities, Swingerz Golf totally feels reminiscent of a Hot Shots Golf game, particularly the third and FOOOOORE-th entries, available on the PlayStation 2.
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| Now is the winter of our golfing's discontent. |
That isn't to say Swingerz Golf is 1:1 with its then-PS2 competition. One of the interesting aspects of the game is how shots, drives, approaches, putts, etc. are initiated. Rather than a traditional, typical three-click shot gauge that sets power and accuracy, there is a shot meter used, but it's started by pulling back on the C-Stick of the GameCube controller. To set the power of the shot, you flick the C-Stick forward, and depending on how straight of a flick your shot was, the more accurate and true to its strength it will be. That said, trying to use a 1-Wood or higher club on say, the fairway, means the window for how straight you must flick the C-Stick forward becomes narrower. With these types of challenging shots, it can be quite easy to duff the shot with a "Bad" or "Poor" hit to the ball. Otherwise, there's usually a wide enough window to flick without worry.
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| Unlike this type of shot, Swingerz Golf isn't the most "approach"-able golf game. |
It's certainly not easy at the beginning. Like anything atypical, it does take some getting used to in order to swing accurately. It also doesn't help that setting the power of the shot still trips me up after over 10 hours of game time. You simply don't get the immediacy of a button press to set the power on the shot gauge than you would a button press. This often resulted in me hitting the ball too softly or too hard--both unintentionally. In a golf game that demands precision and one where the difference between making the green and your ball falling into a water hazard is a tick on the shot gauge, this quickly becomes frustrating and round-ruining.
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As you can see with the white line on that circular C-Stick prompt that says "Great", |
Furthermore, if you get it into the rough or the bunker--forget about it. You're going to attempt to save par at best. When the ball is in adverse area lie-wise, then Swingerz Golf gets even more random--quite literally. A poor lie--that is, a bad area where your ball literally lies and sits after a shot--means your shot will be affected in power. An infographic in the bottom right corner reveals a percentage. When it says something like 70-100%, that means even if you hit your shot your absolutely hardest, with the most power, it can still only go 70% of that shot strength. It happens randomly, too, which for a game that already suffers from a steep difficulty, just feels incredibly cheap and stupid to play.
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| Ten-hut! (But hopefully don't get a hole out in ten strokes!!) |
Putting is its own golf ball of worms as well. Reading greens is not beginner friendly, the opposite of the game's obvious inspiration, Hot Shots Golf. It also isn't helpful that you have to be darn accurate with your putts, as there's very little wiggle room and window given to the player. This isn't helped by the aforementioned C-Stick flicking to futilely attempt to accurately set the power, nor is it helped by how accurate you have to putt. You basically have a "correct" zone to putt--i.e. an angle and power that is 100% the correct way to go, and any putt outside of that strict window will not go in. There's very little in the way of forgiveness with putting, especially as putts that graze the hole will seldom go in, which is very unlike most golf games, arcade-y or no.
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| Putting put me in my place in Swingerz Golf, whether it was just or not. |
Unfortunately, that's the story of Swingerz Golf. It's just an unforgiving game of golf, and an absolutely aggravating one at that. This continues with the game's single-player modes as well. Tour Mode is a fun concept in theory--you play through various stages of events, about six per stage that can be selected in any order, as you attempt to beat each event for a set amount of stars (up to three stars in 18-hole rounds, and up to two in match play rounds against a CPU opponents). Earn enough stars, and you unlock the next stage of events.
It's easy enough going at the first couple event stages, but as you progress, especially with the versus matches, it gets tough relatively fast. The computer-controlled opponents often require you to get birdie or better to even tie. They're inconsistent, too. One hole they'll chip it a few feet away from the pin, leaving you with needing to get a birdie somehow to win (and again, with this game's putting--woo, boy). Other times, they'll smack their shots into hazards or out of bounds multiple times. There's neither a rhyme nor reason for this. It's at the leisure of the game.
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Match play against the computer and a fair experience... |
As you bash your head against each event and hopefully win them in Tour Mode, you earn gear in the form of new clubs, balls, and accessories, such as the Rain Trinket that always makes it rain when equipped, or the Power Glove, that unlike the Mattel toy of the same name, it's not so bad. It's actually pretty good if you want some extra power for your character. Each character can be outfitted with a set amount of gear, but you can't just equip the top of the line stuff and call it a day. Each piece of gear has a point amount, and each character has a total point amount of available space allotted to them. If you try to equip gear that totals an amount higher than that character can carry, you can't play the round until you get the number under their maximum equip-able amount. Otherwise, you're good to go and to start your round, using each piece of gear, which levels up upon continued use on the course.
Apart from Tour Mode, there are also some mini-games to play, too. From the Mission Mode that tasks you with completing various golf challenges, ten missions per each of the game's six courses, to the ultimate test of endurance, Survival Mode, that puts you against a line of one-hole match play contests to see how many characters you can beat in a row, these are the hardest parts of Swingers Golf. For Mission Mode, there's little in the way of intelligence to how missions are set up. One can be as easy as getting par or better on a hole, while the next requires you to sink three putts in a row from an absurd distance. It's just stupidly designed. Both modes reward golfers for good play, netting them unlockable gear for every ten missions cleared and every ten opponents beaten respectively.
That's the catch with Swingerz Golf, though. Despite its warm, approachable appearance and presentation (and the presentation is pleasant with an abundance of quippy characters and caddies, beautiful courses, and polished visuals and music), there is a truly unforgiving golf game present deeper within. This is sadly not like Hot Shots Golf in this regard. Those games and that series offers an accessible level of golf. They feel good to play, they have information on screen that is helpful, and you seldom feel cheated because of the game instead of knowing it was YOU that messed up a shot or putt. Ironically, Swingerz Golf apes nearly aspect of Hot Shots Golf except this one, one of the most important aspects of an inviting, welcoming golf game.
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| An excellent drive to start the 12th hole of Swingerz Golf's final course. |
Which begs the question--who is Swingerz Golf for? Well, considering the game was marketed as some "too cool for school with attitude" golf game in the States, where nothing could be further from the truth in-game, that said title is totally frustrating to play even for someone like myself who identifies as a bit skilled at these golf games, and that sales were poor anyway... my guess would be Swingerz Golf is for no-one. At least after bashing my brains against trying to learn to play and try to enjoy myself despite the game doing everything in its power to ruin that for me, it's certainly and decidedly not for me. It's just a shame that the developer never got a mulligan, as there are some neat and nifty ideas here, but they don't form anything worthwhile enough to suffer for.
[SPC Says: D+]
