How Was I Supposed to Know THAT!? ~ Obtuse Things in Games - Volume Four

Today is National Puzzle Day, and it's a day for celebration of all things that twist, melt, bust, or otherwise perplex your brain puzzle-wise. It seems like a fantastic day to bring back an old favorite article series that hasn't seen much action recently. It's "How Was I Supposed to Know THAT!?", where we take a look at those frustratingly obtuse parts of games, whether for progression purposes or just plain ol' devious puzzles that one would have to be an absolute genius of a specialized field to solve. These following five games each have a particularly perplexing part or puzzle in them that possess some kind of masterful amount of outside information or knowledge to get past or solve them.

Before you delve into these newest five dubious entries, feel free to take a look at SuperPhillip Central's past volumes with these convenient links:

Volume One
Volume Two
Volume Three

My Kingdom (and Sanity) for a Sword - Final Fantasy IX (PS1)

We begin this volume of obtuse game secrets and hidden knowledge with Final Fantasy IX. Some secrets are such because they're hidden well. Sometimes they're secrets because they're hidden in such a ridiculously silly way that it's any wonder anyone came across them. Final Fantasy IX's ultimate sword, the Excalibur II, is one of the latter secrets.

In order to wield this omnipotent blade, players must reach a particular room in the final dungeon of the game within 12 hours. If you make it to the room and 12 hours have passed, the weapon will not be made available ever again in that save data. Considering we're talking about a three-disc game, that's no small feat. In fact, discs one and two are no short romps whatsoever. There's a lot of ground to cover within a dozen of hours.

Now, Excalibur II isn't mentioned or hinted at in the entirety of Final Fantasy IX's enormous adventure, and even with the knowledge of this legendary sword existing, actually completing the prerequisites necessary of the player is challenging enough. The original PlayStation version at least allowed skipping cutscenes through a clever trick, but no such trick exists in the recent re-releases of Final Fantasy IX, making this obtuse challenge even more, well, challenging.

"A" for A LOT of Effort - Valkyrie Profile (PS1, PSP)

We move from one Square Enix RPG from the PS1 era to another with Valkyrie Profile from Tri-Ace. While Final Fantasy IX's obtuse challenge required some outside knowledge and a mix of luck and skill to acquire an ultimate weapon, Valkyrie Profile ups the ante with an absurd level of knowledge and luck needed to reach the best ending in the game.

"Ending A" in Valkyrie Profile, also know as "the Golden Ending", has a heap of tasks required to achieve it. This ending requires specific information in order to get it, such as watching specific cutscenes in a specific order at specific times during the story, and the removal of a character of utmost importance to Valkyrie Profile's overall plot. The latter seems counter-intuitive in order to get a "golden" ending, but yes, it must be done.

How someone would know ahead of time that 1) there's a "better" ending to Valkyrie Profile than the one generally provided in the game, and 2) much less how to reach that ending considering the ridiculous set of rules and variables involved, makes this task of obtaining the best ending to Valkyrie Profile one that I'm amazed some players managed to figure out on their own.

An Obtuse Secret? Ah, Cork It! - Monster Boy and the Cursed Kingdom (Multi)

Monster Boy and the Cursed Kingdom was one of my favorite games of 2018, and it was a classic take on the Metroid-style formula with some modern sensibilities thrown in to make for a less aggravating game without diluting the experience too much.

Though, if you want aggravating, then I have it for you. There's a well that's plugged up by a giant cork within the central hub village of the game, and there's no hints whatsoever within the world how to unplug the well. The solution is to find five switches located within the village, some completely invisible to the player, and then solving a bit of a puzzle that can only be completed with some outside knowledge of Morse code. There's also a section that results in a fabricated error message that seems unsightly at first, but it's actually part of the sequence as well. So, what you have is a cork and subsequent puzzle that require outside knowledge from somewhere and are the definition of obtuse puzzles.

The saving grace of this "How Was I Supposed to Know THAT!?" moment is that it's purely optional and doesn't need to be completed for 100%. It's an added bonus to the game, but one that's so mired and mucked up in mysterious moves in order to solve it that it's no wonder that most turned to the Internet and written or video guides to solve it.

The Chocolate Code - Professor Layton and the Curious Village (DS)

Moving on from an optional puzzle to a necessary one, we have The Chocolate Code, Puzzle 067 from Professor Layton and the Curious Village. The Professor Layton series features a general mystery for Professor Layton and his supporting cast to solve as they explore areas and talk with various NPCs. Usually, NPCs have puzzles for Professor Layton to solve through the player in order to get much needed information and a means to continue the story.

The Chocolate Code is one of the more infamous puzzles in Professor Layton series history, and it requires a little outside knowledge to ascertain its solution. It also certainly puts those Hint Coins that players were hoarding to good use as well. The puzzle clue is as follows:

On Valentine's Day, your gadget-loving, technophile girlfriend gave you a most unusual slab of chocolate. While the jumble of letters looks like nonsense, if you manage to decode the letters written on the chocolate, a message from your sweetheart will appear.
What is she trying to tell you?

Starting out, looking at the letters on the bar of chocolate does indeed look like nonsense, but if you pay attention to the bite marks by each letter... well, the answer may still elude you. That's because without a token of outside knowledge (and perhaps a computer keyboard in front of you), you might remain clueless on what the puzzle wants from you.

What is needed is to look at the letters and their adjacent bite marks and designate each letter to a key on a computer keyboard. The direction of the bite mark in relation to a given letter designates the key on a traditional "QWERTY" keyboard that is next to that letter in that specific direction. Thus, this is the solution "TEXT ME".

Personally, I can't stand chocolate to begin with, so this puzzle not only made me feel stupid in not possessing enough smarts to solve it without outside help, but it also continued my distaste for the cocoa bean-based confectionery.

Dumb Lum Location - Rayman 2: The Great Escape (PS1, N64)

We conclude volume four of "How Was I Supposed to Know THAT!?" with a quick but dirty secret for players trying to aim for 100% completion in Rayman 2's PlayStation 1 and Nintendo 64 versions. The main collectible in Rayman 2 is that of Lums. Lots of these Lums are located in difficult areas to access, requiring some hardcore exploration of levels and adequate platforming ability. There's one in particular, however, that is just downright unfair to find.

The Lum in question is found within the level called "Tomb of the Ancients." Every other Lum in the game can be discovered through ample checking of the environment, some clever movement of the camera to gauge your surroundings, and a keen eye. This Lum from the "Tomb of the Ancients" level throws all of that out of the proverbial window. In order to get this particular Lum in the PS1 and N64 versions, one must jump through an otherwise unassuming wall to discover and collect it. This is the only Lum in the game that requires such a trick.

Perhaps understanding how silly it was to place this Lum in its initial location, future versions of Rayman 2 completely altered the area where you find this Lum, placing it in a treasure chest at the end of the level instead. From everyone who has ever played a Rayman 2 port since, I say "Thank you!"

Toughest Tasks in Gaming History - Volume Four

How good of a gamer do you consider yourself to be? For several years now, SuperPhillip Central has documented some of the toughest tasks to accomplish in gaming. Perhaps you'd be interested in taking up some of these gaming challenges to show your skills, test your meddle, or reveal more of your masochistic side! These particular gaming tasks can be hard due to time-commitment, needing luck, or just purely because of difficulty. Either way, the timid need not apply.

To take a look at a past installment of Toughest Tasks in Gaming History, look no further than these links:

Volume One
Volume Two
Volume Three

Now, let's move on to the newest taxing tasks added to this ever-expanding list!

Beating Oxide's Ghosts in Time Trial - Crash Team Racing Nitro-Fueled (PS4, XB1, NSW)

We begin this look at tough gaming tasks with a recent release--Crash Team Racing Nitro-Fueled. This is a remarkably challenging game all on its own. Heck, I could easily pick completing Hard Adventure Mode as one of the toughest gaming tasks alone, but I feel that excelling in the Time Trial mode by beating each and every one of Nitrous Oxide's times is the most difficult feat within CTR's wonderful remake.

It's a bit of a grind to unlock N. Tropy's time trial ghost, and then beating that just to unlock a chance to beat Oxide's own ghost. You have to go through this process in each and every track--all 31 of them. Regardless, Oxide's ghosts themselves use every trick in the book--power sliding and drift boosting at every opportunity, keeping a boost throughout entire laps, nailing shortcuts in each and every track with almost effortless ability, and generally making you feel like you have no business being on the same track as these ghosts. "Ghost" is a perfect term for these fast time trial pests, as they will haunt you as you try to overcome and outrace them, constantly coming within split seconds of doing so but failing. It will take a true CTR expert to accomplish this task, and a lot of practice as well. Good luck, racers.

Obtaining All of the Mii Maker Outfits - Super Mario Maker 2 (NSW)

We continue with another recent release with Super Mario Maker 2, which contains a pretty stiff challenge for completionists: Obtaining each and every one of the outfits that your maker Mii can wear. These range from full-body gear like the Propeller Suit to clothing like shirts, shorts, dresses, and more.

The more time-consuming costume pieces will require you to grind through levels, playing as many as you possibly can to reach the 10,000 level threshold for but one of the outfit unlocks. Then, there's playing through the currently lackluster online multiplayer, where you must get to a certain rank to earn outfits--one of which requires you to win 10 consecutive matches, while another requires you reach the highest rank in general. Finally, there's the luck of the draw of hoping one of your created levels gets popular and viral enough to get enough plays and get enough likes to put you on the leaderboard. Only the most popular creators will ever reach the very top where an exclusive outfit is available.

It seems obvious Super Mario Maker 2 isn't exactly meant to be 100% completed when it comes to outfits, as these tasks have shown, but that isn't stopping intrepid players and makers alike to try. Nevertheless, I would sincerely applaud anybody who is able to successfully unlock every possible Mii Maker outfit within the game.

Clearing Spelunker Mode - 3D Dot Game Heroes (PS3)

We go from a Mario game to a Zelda game. Well, not an official Zelda game, but one clearly inspired by the classics in the franchise. 3D Dot Game Heroes lives up to FROM Software's penchant for truly tricky and challenging games. While the main adventure is no real cakewalk, the unlockable Spelunker difficulty cranks up the difficulty dial past "11".

In Spelunker Mode, you have 1 HP. Any damage you take will result in a "Game Over". With traps and enemies that can you take you out easily--especially in dungeons--and said dungeons having it so dying returns you to its very beginning, playing carefully and cautiously is paramount to success in this mode. While there is a means to cheese Spelunker Mode's difficulty by running into walls to allow yourself five seconds of invincibility frames, it's still quite the challenge that requires patience, perseverance, and plenty of luck to complete.

Earning the Big Boss Emblem - Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (PS4)

Obtaining the Big Boss Emblem is the single-most challenging objective to accomplish in any Metal Gear game. Heck, it's just a challenging objective in gaming in general! To acquire this emblem, you must do a checklist of arduous, hair-pulling tasks.

For one, you must beat the game on the hardest difficulty. Okay, that might be enough to separate the Solid Snakes from the Johnnys of the series any day, but there's more! You have to do so without dying even once, without sounding an alert from the guards, without killing a guard or any other character, and without recovering health via items. So, not only is this pacifist run with the proverbial deck stacked against you daunting enough, but this must all be accomplished in five hours or less. Is Solid Snake Tom Cruise all of a solid because this mission sounds impossible!

Beating the Game on the "Mein leben" Difficulty - Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus (PS4, XB1, NSW, PC)

Now, it's time for another task featuring a hard gaming difficulty! Take the already immensely challenging "I am death incarnate!" difficulty where death comes quickly--a couple shots and it's game over, and one mistake means a certain and swift death--and make it so if you die, you have to start from the beginning of the game all over again. Oh, and you can't save at all either. That's what Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus' "Mein leben" difficulty delivers to the most masochistic of its players.

In a mode where one good shot can take you out, this seems like a--forgive the play-on words--"colossal" challenge to overcome. Preparing for such a herculean task means playing through the already arduous "I am death incarnate!" difficulty, practicing runs at a near-obsessive pace, and then hoping for the best when you finally tackle your "Mein leben" run. Permanent death is bad enough, but the aforementioned lack of saving makes things even more taxing and seemingly impossible. It's a gaming challenge that will make you hate Nazis even more than you already do/should.

The "Worst" Things About SuperPhillip Central's Favorite Games IV

Didn't I just say yesterday that there's enough negativity in our hobby, and now here's an article called "The 'Worst' Things About SuperPhillip Central's Favorite Games IV"? Hypocrite much?

No worries, gang, as I'm delving into some personal favorite games of mine, doing my best to pick out what I feel is the strongest negative for each. With some games it's much harder than others! On this fourth installment of this nearly three-year-old series, games like Super Mario Odyssey, Ratchet & Clank, and Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas are featured.

Check out past volumes here:

Volume One
Volume Two
Volume Three

Super Mario Odyssey (NSW)

We begin with a duo of 3D platformers. The first is a game that got runner-up for Game of the Year at the SuperPhillip Central Best of 2017 Awards. (The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild barely beat it.) I'm talking about Super Mario Odyssey, a delightfully masterful platforming adventure that spanned the entire world, as well as parts of space.

The precision, fluidity, responsiveness, and tightness of the controls made for an exceptional game to play. Mario had a brand-new assortment of moves in addition to his repertoire of classics dating back all the way to Super Mario 64 in 1996. One could pull off some very impressive platforming feats with a combination of maneuvers both grounded and in midair.

Many challenges in Super Mario Odyssey could be completed normally with these analog controls. However, the optional motion controls, used for getting extra height on jumps, for instance, weren't so optional for some players, if they wanted to get every Power Moon in the game. Certain racing challenges for Power Moons would be close to impossible for certain players if they didn't shake the JoyCon controllers to give a boost to Mario's roll, and specific Power Moons would be much more difficult to reach without the aid of JoyCon-shaking to scurry up poles at a quicker pace. Now, no Power Moon in Super Mario Odyssey is designed with motion controls exclusively in mind, but without them, several Power Moons can be quite the pain in our favorite plumber's backside to attain.

Ratchet & Clank (PS4)

We move from a runner-up 3D platformer for SPC's Game of the Year of 2017 to the winner of SPC's Game of the Year for 2016: Ratchet & Clank for the PlayStation 4, the official game of the official movie, with the official lombax and the official robot buddy.

Ratchet & Clank's 2016 romp is a part-platformer, part action game that sees the heroic duo move from planet to planet, cleaning up the mess that Chairman Drek and his cronies have left behind in their wake. For the most part, the action remains steady and the pacing of the game keeps chugging along. That is until you get to some of the slower sections within this series reboot that ends up breaking the flow a little bit.

I'm referring to the Trespasser puzzles within Ratchet & Clank. While these are a lot of fun to solve the first time around, the Ratchet & Clank games generally are meant to be played through multiple times in order to routinely save up bolts to acquire all weapons, as well as level up said weapons through continued use, and to unlock all of the trophies (if you're into that like I am, that is). Playing through the game the second, third, fourth, etc. time and constantly being met with Trespasser puzzles that you've already solved in a prior play-through and must solve them in the current play-through is a real chore.

With Trespasser puzzles, you rotate multiple circles. The inner circle shoots out lasers. The goal is to have each laser hit a receptor in order to clear the puzzle and unlock the door you're not supposed to enter (at least by the standards of the person who originally locked it). Later puzzles introduce more lasers and receptors, as well as shields that block lasers from reaching receptors, so they have to be rotated correctly, too. Despite these slow periods in the game devoted to the Trespasser, Ratchet & Clank is still a top notch game, and the best release I played in 2016.

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PS2)

%#$^ that side mission Supply Lines on the PlayStation 2 version of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas!! There. It felt good to let that out. Did it get your attention as well? Then, I killed two birds with one stone!

Supply Lines is a side mission in San Andreas where David Lynch will constantly tell you that his voiced character's humiliation is complete after you fail the mission. Over and over. And over. And over. Again.

The goal of Supply Lines is to take out a handful of vans driving around different routes in San Fierro while you pilot a remote controlled plane with a gun attached to it. The RC plane has limited fuel, and it's so limited in the PlayStation 2 version that you have to pretty much perform a perfect run just to take out all of the vans--timing their locations correctly--and land at the ending point to clear the mission.

Supply Lines was so badly balanced and challenging in the original PlayStation 2 version of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas that Rockstar made the mission significantly easier in all future versions, beginning with the Xbox port. My completed run of the O.G. Supply Lines is worn like a badge of honor... Or tremendous patience. One or the other.

Killzone: Mercenary (Vita)

Unlike Grand Theft Auto post-III, I never really got into Guerrilla Games's Killzone franchise. I know Killzone 2 was a showstopper with its amazing (for the time) visuals and presentation at one of the various E3s in the past, but it just didn't appeal to me. It was a poster boy for that generation at that time where brown and grey were popular colors to use, and Killzone 2 was the epitome of that.

However, when I got my PlayStation Vita, I was yearning for a game that would incorporate those dual analogs on the system into a competent first-person shooter. Call of Duty Black Ops: Declassified failed to be a critical darling (it was the complete opposite, in fact), so I steered clear of that one. Then, Killzone: Mercenary launched, and despite its acclaim from the media and gamers, I was still skeptical. That was until I got my hands on the game, played through it, and loved every hour of it.

The issue here is that there weren't a lot of hours to be had in the main campaign. Instead, the game's nine chapters were over quite quickly. For those who don't care about replay value--replaying and completing missions with three checklists of tasks, making for at least three runs per level total--then there wasn't much to be found in the single player campaign. I've read a lot of criticism about this aspect of the game, and it's understandable criticism for those who don't care to replay the same missions only with different rules and objectives to them. Still, Killzone: Mercenary is a stellar shooter nonetheless.

Kid Icarus: Uprising (3DS)

Pit's return in Super Smash Bros. Brawl for Wii after many decades on hiatus from his own series, Kid Icarus, was a shock to say the least. The popularity of the character and Smash director Masahiro Sakurai's desire to make a game in the Kid Icarus universe led to the franchise being reborn with the Nintendo 3DS hit Kid Icarus: Uprising. This game had it all: blistering fast action, great visuals for the Nintendo 3DS hardware, a stupendous soundtrack (one of my favorites of all time), both on-rails aerial action and ground-based combat/exploration, and yes, a control scheme that could really cramp up one's hands rather easily!

Kid Icarus: Uprising really needed a system with two analog sticks or at least better ergonomics, as holding the Nintendo 3DS with one hand while using the stylus to aim and shoot with the other was quite a bother for many players. When a game needs to ship with a plastic stand in order to ease the strain and burden put on the player's hands, it's probably a bad thing. Just thinking out loud, though. I, personally, found comfort by resting the system on my leg or in my lap while playing, but even still, I, among countless others, would adore seeing Kid Icarus: Uprising put on a platform that's much easier to hold without having to live with inconvenience and occasional suffering to enjoy it.

Bad Levels in Gaming History - Volume Four

Level design has always been a feature of games that we've marveled at. There's a big difference between a level that is frustrating due to challenge and a level that is frustrating due to design. Now, we aren't going to pretend that we are masters of creating excellent levels. No, we're very much not. However, we believe we've had enough experience playing games that we can weed out the good levels from those that are bad. This series of articles talks about the latter, where we focus on those levels that are either poorly designed, frustrating for all of the wrong reasons, or just boring in general. (We have a series of articles dedicated to great levels anyway.) After we've exhausted our picks for this newest edition of Bad Levels in Gaming History, help us come up with some more levels for future installments and your reasoning as to why your chosen levels are so bad.

Miss out on Volume One, Volume Two, and Volume Three? Click those links, then!

One Shot, One Kill - Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (Multi)

We don't feature the Call of Duty franchise a lot on SuperPhillip Central. It's not really our type of series, and we wouldn't want to review something we don't have an interest in. It wouldn't really be fair of us to bother. Anyway, we did enjoy Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, and that was the title that truly cemented Call of Duty is a blockbuster multi-million selling franchise.

Modern Warfare features plenty of awesome scenarios, but it also comes with some immensely obnoxious moments, some of which simply aren't that fun to play due to the sensational amount of aggravation involved.

The level One Shot, One Kill has an example of this at its conclusion. It has you and an injured superior pinned down near a Ferris wheel, anxiously awaiting the arrival of a helicopter to take you boys home. The aggravation here comes from the multitude of enemy soldiers, each equipped with fully automatic rifles that can tear you a new one in a matter moments, that you have to contend with. Did we neglect to mention that you and your superior must survive for a bit over five minutes? You have a limited amount of Claymore mines to work with, used for protecting your AI superior. If he somehow bites the dust (and it's very likely that he will), you fail the mission. Not only is that scenario easy to have happen, having yourself perish mid-confrontation is also quite easy to see occur.

One might think that hiding behind the Ferris wheel itself for cover is a good strategy. Why, it may seem that way, but then you get the privilege of being assaulted by attack dogs, each ready to rip into your red, white, and blue flesh with an instant kill move that can only be avoided with extremely narrow timing. If you wish to persevere elsewhere in this skirmish, you'll be greeted with a barrage of grenades. This is a scenario where even the Terminator would have issues with, much less a regular U.S. army soldiers, regardless of what the commercials on TV tell you. One Shot, One Kill ends with an insanely hard and not very fair encounter with a seemingly endless amount of enemies to take down and survive against. That's why it kicks off our list of Bad Levels in Gaming History for this fourth volume.

Air's Rock - Golden Sun: The Lost Age (GBA)

If you're a fan of lengthy levels and areas that take hours of time to complete, then you will likely find Golden Sun: The Lost Age's Air's Rock to be a pleasure cruise. For the rest of us, we probably would have enough when we discovered that the dungeon takes as long as the original Golden Sun's final dungeon. This wouldn't be so bad if this was a late place in the game to visit, but it's actually near the start of The Lost Age! Your party is at a relatively low level, your hit points and Psynergy points are in the low amount spectrum, your equipment is mediocre at best, and the enemies aren't pushovers, unlike those that you've encountered already. Sound fun? Great! Here's some more stuff!

Trial and error gameplay is what you receive with several opening maze and platforming puzzles. This requires your party to be using its low amounts of PP to use a certain skill repeatedly, meaning you run out of Psynergy points rather quickly. As you make your way to the top of Air's Rock, believing the hardest parts are behind you, you encounter the realization that you're actually not even halfway done with this dungeon. Still sound fun? Well, let's continue!

You must then enter inside the stone and move downward, as you progress closer and closer into the mountain's core. This is all the while facing off against even stronger enemies and more time-consuming and repetitive puzzles. Once you've reached the center of the mountain, you must make your way to the top of the mountain again. This time, however, you are able to use various activated tornado devices to shoot your way up to areas that couldn't be reached before. The end of this part of this dungeon is the end of your journey through the insanely long Air's Rock. It's not just a feat of endurance to conquer this dungeon; it's a test of one's insanity. Oh, and the game doesn't even bother to mention that you need to come to Air's Rock for a Psynergy magic that is required to advance the story in the first place. How nice of the developers! Not. If somehow this all sounds like no big deal and a lot of fun, may we introduce you to a game called Superman 64? You'll probably find pleasure in that torture (albeit much, much worse torture) as well.

Babel Tower - Xenogears (PS1, PSN)

Based on the Tower of Babel, a tower from the Bible that was humanity's way of essentially saying to God, "Hey, you. We're defying you. Take your now-useless Great Flood and get lost!", Xenogears' Babel Tower hasn't been entered for over five centuries due to the ancient Ethos Society sealing it shut with powerful magic. That is, until Fei's party manages to enter Babel Tower themselves. If you ask us what Xenogears' take on the tower was built for, our answer would be pure frustration. Unlike the Bible's version of the tower, Xenogears' Babel Tower actually served its purpose quite well... unfortunately.

It wouldn't be so bad if it was just a straight up climb. However, the developers had a different idea in jazzing up the player's process in ascending the tower. What happens when you have an RPG and you introduce platforming, a mechanic that has no place in the game, in order to cross chasms? Well, you get a recipe for disaster, and that's exactly what Babel Tower is.

You see, Xenogears came out before the PlayStation's implementation of the analog stick. This meant you were stuck using the d-pad for movement. While this setup was less than ideal, what really makes this trek through Babel Tower frustrating is that you can enter into a random battle mid-jump. That wouldn't be so bad if after the battle you didn't fall downward like a two ton safe. That's not even taking into account the very awkward leaps Fei and friends must make at the beginning of the tower that are hard enough without any battles to impede your progress. That alone takes a good chunk of time to perfect the first time! All this adds up to being forced to retry segments of the tower because you keep falling after battles that begin in mid-jump. It's incredibly frustrating and tedious, and it's one of those points in the game that make us disinterested in playing through Xenogears again.

Desert of Death - Breath of Fire III (PS1, PSP, PSN)

As if the name didn't come across as unfriendly enough, Breath of Fire III's Desert of Death is a slog of a place to travel through. It's an area that can get severely boring and tedious, even when you know what you're doing. If you don't, you'll curse the heavens, the stars, and the developers for even coming up with this hellish spot in the game.

The kicker here is that in the English version of Breath of Fire III, the translation was fouled up. This results in the trek through this sand-filled nightmare being much more difficult than it needs to be. You need to have an incredibly precise directional sense to get through the desert. You are required to use the stars in the nighttime sky as your markers to know where to go and how to find the exit here. Since there's a star that is placed in the sky merely to trip you up and trick you, this makes for a pretty rough and obnoxious part to an otherwise enjoyable RPG to overcome.

In addition to these problematic issues, wandering around in the desert for an extended period of time causes you to become thirsty, needing to drink water. Run out of water, and your maximum amount of hit points will continually lower with each step until Ryu and party rest at an inn. After all of your work through this tedious part of the game, you arrive at the end of the Desert of Death, only to be greeted by a boss battle.

 ...Now don't that just beat all?

Mario's Castle - Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins (GB, 3DS VC)

The final level of Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins has Mario returning to his overtaken by Wario castle after collecting all six of the eponymous golden coins. What is a generally fairly easy game ramps up in difficulty to roller coaster levels in an instant.

Mario's Castle is a three floor nightmare of a level that requires really tight and precise platforming, great reaction time, and steady thumbs. The obstacles include moving platforms, giant Piranha Plant statues that shoot out fireballs at intermittent times, and large pits of lava that will cook Mario's hind parts instantly.

Not only is this level more than double the length of every other level that Mario has previously conquered within the game, but it also features nothing in the way of checkpoints. This means that wherever you die, even in the three stage fight with Wario, the final boss of the game, you must restart the level at the very beginning. That's just poor and unfair design in what would otherwise be a giant jump in difficulty for players of Super Mario Land 2.

One-Sentence Reviews - Volume Four

We have gotten a lot of good feedback regarding this segment. You'd wonder why it's been over a year since we've last done it, then, wouldn't you! It's One-Sentence Reviews, where we take thirty games and try to summarize our thoughts about them and criticize them in one sentence. Sure, we occasionally do a run-on sentence here and there, but that's all right. Some of these games listed have already had in-depth reviews, and many of the games will be reviewed with more detail later. Regardless, let's jump right into this and enjoy ourselves, shall we?

"While nowhere near the game of the generation, The Last of Us is an epic thrill ride from beginning to end." The Last of Us (PS3)

"Columbia is such an awesome place to explore, and the gameplay of BioShock Infinite is a step up from so many others of the competition." BioShock Infinite (PS3, 360, PC)

"Featuring some pretty sensational set pieces, puzzles, and action, this prequel to the God of War trilogy is an adrenaline rush most of the time." God of War: Ascension (PS3)

"Questionable Dante design change aside, DmC: Devil May Cry is an uptempo action game that will get the player's palms sweaty for sure." DmC: Devil May Cry (PS3, 360, PC)

"Forget Resident Evil 6, Revelations is the game that deserves that name and the accolades." Resident Evil: Revelations (Wii U, PS3, 360, PC)

"The inclusion of a casual mode allows the latest Fire Emblem to be accessible to all player skill levels, making it one of our favorite installments." Fire Emblem: Awakening (3DS)

"Most mini-game collections lack depth, but Nintendo Land not has depth, but it is an excellent showcase of both the Wii U GamePad and the asymmetrical gameplay of the system." Nintendo Land (Wii U)

"Our favorite Wii U game, LEGO City Undercover is packed with content, things to do on every street corner, and a story with humor that branches all ages." LEGO City Undercover (Wii U)

"We hesitate to say how incredibly great Xenoblade Chronicles is because it will just make those without the game feel bad (and have to pay through the nose to get a copy)." Xenoblade Chronicles (Wii)

"Featuring some great track design, terrific retro track choices, kart customization, and all-new gliding and underwater sections, the latest Mario Kart is a tour de force for kart racers." Mario Kart 7 (3DS)

"Containing ultra-repetitive gameplay and missions that really outwear their welcome, Project X Zone isn't the dream crossover game we were hoping for." Project X Zone (3DS)

"Shooting and loot makes for a marvelously addicting time, and Borderlands 2 is just that." Borderlands 2 (PS3, 360, PC)

"While Grand Theft Auto IV moved more towards realism to a detriment of that game, Saints Row: The Third simply got even more off the wall and crazy, and that was a truly good thing." Saints Row: The Third (PS3, 360, PC)

"Platinum Games makes dicing and slicing through enemies (and watermelons) an absolute blast in this high octane action game." Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance (PS3, 360, PC)

"Perhaps the only strong points of Final Fantasy XIII are the excellent soundtrack and graphics." Final Fantasy XIII (PS3, 360)

"Taking the franchise from Bungie and making it their own was no easy task, but 343 Industries managed to create a stellar entry in the Halo franchise." Halo 4 (360)

"A great kart racer that is only marred by technical issues and certain tracks being difficult to ascertain where you need to go." Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed (Wii U, PS3, 360, PC, 3DS, PSV)

"It took 300 hours of gameplay before we got a little burned out on this game, so that should tell you exactly how great and addicting Animal Crossing: New Leaf really is." Animal Crossing: New Leaf (3DS)

"Possessing RPG elements, a wonderful selection of some of the greatest video game music ever, and addicting gameplay, Theatrhythm Final Fantasy is one of our favorite rhythm games of all time." Theatrhythm Final Fantasy (3DS)

"Showcasing the greatness of the Wii MotionPlus, Wii Sports Resort features excellent motion controls and fun for the whole family." Wii Sports Resort (Wii)

"A game that starts out really slowly, Harvest Moon 3D eventually peps up and creates for the player one of the grandest Harvest Moon experiences to date on any platform." Harvest Moon 3D: A New Beginning (3DS)

"A great collector's item and a fun interpretation of the classic Cave Story, Cave Story 3D is not a necessity to play, as the cheaper versions are just as fun." Cave Story 3D (3DS)

"The Wii U version of the game is the definitive version, due to it being the one that was cancelled." Aliens: Colonial Marines (PS3, 360, PC)

"The mission to create a competent Call of Duty game on the PlayStation Vita is an utter failure." Call of Duty: Black Ops - Declassified (PSV)

"This enhanced version of the overlooked Wii game, Muramasa: The Demon Blade, plays great, looks sensational, and has a good amount of content for solo players." Muramasa Rebirth (PSV)

"While this game started Dimps' fetish with throwing as many bottomless pits as possible into levels, Sonic Rush is a fast-paced platformer with great music." Sonic Rush (DS)

"A bigger and better game than its predecessor, Sonic the Hedgehog 2 introduced more zones, more challenge, and the addition of Tails." Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (GEN)

"It is nice seeing Mega Man in the 32-bit era, and he looks absolutely sensational (plays well, too)." Mega Man 8 (PS1, SAT)

"See the origins of the Metroid series in this game where the hallways are so similar it makes exploration incredibly challenging, and not in the good way." Metroid (NES)

"While no one can replace Mike Tyson, Mr. Dream's iteration of Punch-Out!! is just as difficult, engaging, and entertaining to play." Punch-Out!! Featuring Mr. Dream (NES)

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If you'd like to take a look at past installments of One-Sentence Reviews, look no further than the following links:

Volume One

Volume Two

Volume Three

Best Levels in Gaming History - Volume Four

We've already reached the fourth installment of Best Levels in Gaming History where we examine a series of five stages that I consider to be some of the best that the world of gaming has to offer. We're going for a more of a Mario approach with three of the levels coming today from Mario titles. If you missed out on past volumes, you can always click on one of the following links to be instantly transported to your intended destination:

Volume One
Volume Two
Volume Three

World 1-1 - Super Mario Bros. (NES)


The game that may have single-handily revitalized an industry started out modestly. Getting acquainted with the simple physics of the game was easy. Mario could jump and change direction mid-air, something that game designers and programmers of that era had a tough time grasping the concept of. At the start of World 1-1, a lone goomba stood in the way between Mario and a series of item blocks, one of which containing a mushroom power-up. Following that were a series of pipes, one of which took Mario into a hidden area full of cool and crisp coinage. With this shortcut Mario could bypass a could chunk of the level. If Mario opted not to skip out on the fun, he could uncover a hidden 1-up concealed in an invisible item box located between the end of the pipe section and just before the first bottomless pit. A run up a staircase of blocks and a leap of faith made Mario cling against the level's ending, a flagpole. Entering the castle his work was done for the time being. Until World 1-2, that is.

Green Hill Zone - Sonic the Hedgehog (GEN)


As soon as players booted up their copy of Sonic the Hedgehog and passed by the title screen, they were propelled into the Green Hill Zone, filled with art deco loop-de-loops, badniks like ladybugs and mechanized monkeys throwing coconuts, and palm trees. This was all set across a background filled with a majestic and sparkling lake, mountains, and a bright blue sky. If only all of Sonic the Hedgehog's zones were so inviting! The three acts in the zone could be sped through within minutes if the player was really cooking, and the final challenge was Dr. Robotnik. The boss flew from side-to-side in the arena with a ball and chain that moved back and forth, ready to slam into the blue blur. With the aid of two side platforms, Sonic had enough height to strike into the nefarious scientist's first machine, and with enough hits it would be destroyed. The next zone would slow down the pace of the game considerably yet still be enjoyable.

World 8-7 - New Super Mario Bros. Wii (Wii)


This level is an intense and wild ride as you cross a deadly sea of lava, boarding bone snake platforms as they slither their way along a track. They dip in and out of the lava, so timing your jumps is key unless you want to lose a life. Soon the bone snakes leap off the track directly into the path of lava geysers. It's Mario and the gang's job to leap over these. The final stretch has three bone snake platforms alternating tracks all the way to the goal. This is an exhilarating level that puts the player's reflexes to the test. A secret level, it's definitely one of the more challenging ones in the game.

Tubular - Super Mario World (SNES)


After accessing Star Road and finding your way into the Special World, the second stage, Tubular, awaits Mario and/or Luigi. It's a relatively short level, but pending how you go about it, it could either be really easy or really hard to complete. The beginning of the level starts with the player jumping on yellow pipes while defeating Charging Chucks. Then the real fun begins. The real way to play through this level is to hit the item block, revealing a P-balloon. Hitting this item will fill Mario with air for a limited time, allowing him to float carefully between enemies and over a dangerous and bottomless pit. Getting nicked by the smallest enemy will cause Mario to fall into the pit. Mario must hit item block after item block, getting more and more P-balloons to have enough steam to reach the goal before deflating to normal. The easy way to complete this stage is to have a blue Yoshi, gobble up a koopa troopa, and fly your way over the level. The flying ability of Yoshi will run out just as the player reaches the goal.

Planet Metropolis - Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando (PS2)


The bustling commuter planet where Clank spends his days, Planet Metropolis is where Ratchet obtains the Grind Boots as well as other pertinent items of great use. There's no time for sightseeing, however, as there's a factory to infiltrate with block puzzles to boot. Activating the crane will allow Ratchet to move explosive crates nearby doors to destroy them, allowing the pair to move forward in the level. The other path features heavily-armed robotic drones who will spin around with deadly red lasers and Ratchet and Clank in their sights. One skill point includes destroying everything in the level. With the special move that allows Ratchet to smash his wrench into the ground, obliterating all nearby perishables, this task isn't so tough. A busy level and one of the early ones in Going Commando, Planet Metropolis goes heads and shoulders above the rest in the game.

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Once again we've come to the conclusion of another article here at SuperPhillip Central. If your favorite level hasn't yet been represented, speak up! Let everyone know your favorites in the comments section. Until then, stay tuned for Volume Five of Best Levels in Gaming History!