Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (PS2, GCN, XBX) Retro Review

It's been a couple of months since SuperPhillip Central's last retro review, but now we have a new one on the site. It's for the first outing of the 2003 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series in video game form. Usually there's a rhyme and reason for a retro review. Perhaps a new entry in a particular game series is coming out, or maybe it's the anniversary. With Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Well, there really is no reason other than to just play it in co-op with a fellow reviewer. Here's the SPC retro review of 2003's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Heroes in a halfhearted effort

I grew up like many kids in the late '80s and early '90s, I was hooked to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Everything about the heroes in a half shell had me foaming at the mouth, whether the movies, the hokey cartoon show, the action figures, costumes for Halloween, the video games, and so forth. In 2003, the Turtles returned with a brand-new cartoon series. In the U.S., it aired on the Saturday Morning Fox Box, a collection of cartoons that was formerly known as Fox Kids before it became the all-4Kids TV branded morning of shows.

Like in the late '80s, the powers that be behind the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles went on a merchandising spree. Though the (at the time) new series for the turtles didn't reach the highs and fandom of the late '80s one, it still received plenty of stuff, and yes, that included video games. A multitude of Turtles-branded games released based off of the 2003 cartoon, and the first was a multiplatform game for the PlayStation 2, Nintendo GameCube, and Xbox known simply as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. If you're looking for the magic of the older arcade games, you won't find it here. In fact, you won't find much of value here.

It all goes down to plethora of problems. The first is the nearly brain-dead combat on offer here. You have a light attack, strong attack, and the ability to throw shurikens of various types. There's no real discernible difference between light attacks and strong attacks, so the only real recourse of action here is to spam the light attack button, performing combos in this manner.

Just in case you needed a visual aid, this attack "bash"-ed this Foot Soldier in the face.

Every offense needs a good defense, but Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles doesn't offer much in the way of avoiding enemy attacks. You see, there's no block button whatsoever. This means you can get caught in a multi-hit combo, particularly by bosses who provide the stiffest of challenges over the otherwise easy enemy AI, and find a great deal of your health depleted in the process. Instead, what you're faced with is the need to use the left shoulder button to dash away from enemies before they can wallop you, which is by far more limited a defensive option than a block would otherwise be.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' 2003 offering is split up between six chapters which are divided up between multiple areas. What level design is here is the most basic of the basic with linear corridors and occasional open spaces, all requiring you to move from one horde of enemies to another (the kind that usually appear out of nowhere). There is no real exploration to be found as usually interesting locations in levels are blocked by invisible walls. When you do find a place of interest, it can house the game's sole collectible, a scroll that unlocks some form of concept art in the gallery section of the game.

Instead of the side-scrolling nature found in the more loved arcade games by Konami, 2003's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has 3D arenas and areas that provide different camera positions at various heights and angles that follow along with your turtle. Sometimes it can be to your detriment, however, as the camera can occasionally not keep up with the action or face you with a precarious angle or point of view.

In between some chapters, your turtle of choice enters Splinter's dojo, where they must complete a task to earn a reward. This can be an increase to their offensive or defensive abilities or it can be something as simple as learning how to jump and attack. Yes, you have to learn how to jump and attack in a beat-em-up. The otherwise baffling and impossible-to-know means to jump and then attack is locked behind completing one of Splinter's trials.

Playing solo in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is quite the slog as you're fighting the same number of enemies in solo than you would in co-op, many that can overwhelm you in groups. However, things become a bit more enjoyable with a second player. Unfortunately and confusingly so, there is no option to play with four buddies. Only two turtles and players can play at a time. Nevertheless, two players make for a funner experience, though still full of button-mashing and little else.

Co-op makes a horrid Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game much more digestible and dare I say, fun!

The fact that you have to beat the game as all four turtles to face the true final boss and see the true ending (meaning that player one has to control one turtle through the game four times) makes for longevity to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but the gameplay is so vapid and repetitive that this makes for more of a chore than a challenge.

The presentation for 2003's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles isn't too shabby. The cel-shaded style which was popular for the time looks great. Animations are moderately executed, but not all looks great as areas themselves are a bit drab in appearance. Clips from the show look great, though they make for a disjointed story that has little cohesion whatsoever. It's more of an episodic structure, and even then, it won't make much sense contextually to those who haven't seen the show. When not showing clips from the series, the characters just stand around in their 3D model glory with limited animation. Finally when it regards the audio, the voice actors do a nice job, but the music is mostly uninspired butt rock, something that is just background noise.

Shell Cell: The preferred way of keeping in touch with your fellow turtles.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' 2003 offering is a repetitive beat-em-up with little reason to play through it more than once, despite its intention to have you play through it four times just to see the real ending. Yes, it's accessible, but the combat is so basic that there's no real joy from overcoming wave after wave after wave after wave after wave after wave after wa-- oops, better stop myself there-- of enemies. The only real challenge comes from the harder-than-ordinary boss battles, and this is mostly due to the lack of any sort of block button. Alone the game is tedious, with a friend there is more fun to be had, but not much more. The first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles video game based off of the 2003 cartoon series is hardly worth a look unless you're a giant turtles fan. Even then, I feel shafted of my five hours with the game.

[SPC Says: D]

Super Bomberman R (NS) Review

Off the heels of SuperPhillip Central's first Nintendo Switch review comes our first retail release Switch review. Now we explore the return of Bomberman with Super Bomberman R. While not a perfect return (far from it), this release did give me some joy along with a good deal of frustration. Here's SPC's review.

Drops the bomb along with some duds as well.

Bomberman has been in hibernation for quite some time. I took for granted how much I enjoyed the series when it was common for games starring old Bomby to release seemingly every other month. It is indeed true what they say: absence makes the heart grow fonder. Now, Konami has brought Bomberman back and just in time for the Switch launch. Nonetheless, perhaps it being "just in time for the Switch launch" has made it a game that isn't as big of a blast as it could have been.

Super Bomberman R's story mode begins with an absolutely adorable scene that seems ripped straight from a Saturday morning cartoon with its cheesiness. It's intentionally campy, and it works in this regard. The voice acting is suitably campy as well, making for scenes throughout the game that you can't help but at least eek out a grin at.

While not fully animated, these scenes and the dialogue that goes along with them are charming nonetheless.

The actual campaign of story mode can be played by one's lonesome or locally with a friend. Though this can be more harmful than helpful; when you have two players each dropping bombs, sometimes even blowing one another up, especially in boss battles. Nonetheless, it's a nice option to be able to blow enemies to smithereens with somebody as long as you're not worried about having to continue, which costs a certain amount of money, the currency used to buy items in the in-game shop such as hats and characters to use in multiplayer as well as new arenas.

In story mode you can bomb and blast alone or with a friend.

The campaign tasks you with completing five planets of ten levels each. The first eight levels in each themed world contains various mission types, but most of the time it's simply to destroy all enemies, usually by trapping them with bombs. Other mission types include surviving an onslaught of enemies for a limited amount of time, stepping on a series of switches, gathering a specific amount of keys, and rounding up NPCs and bringing them to a goal area.

This fourth planet of the campaign features plenty of slippery floors to slide along.

The ninth and tenth levels in a world pits you against a two part boss, one of Buggler's Dastardly Bombers. The first of two battles puts you in an arena against a Dastardly Bomber, trying to outwit the boss. This is no easy task, as it seems the boss AI reads your control inputs and acts accordingly, something that makes multiplayer with AI an annoyance (more on that later). Still, I found it relatively easy to survive these encounters as I tried not to go all kamikaze on bosses. Instead, I picked my shots and tried to take each Dastardly Bomber out using the same strategy. When they dropped a bomb, I tried to drop a bomb a space away from that one, trying to trap the Bomber between the two bombs, thus resulting in them getting caught and trapped in the ensuing explosion. As you can imagine, with a co-op buddy, this becomes much trickier to do.

The battle after, the tenth level, has the Dastardly Bomber transforming or entering some kind of machinery for a different kind of boss battle where learning patterns, picking one's shots, and discovering when a boss is vulnerable to attack are key to emerging victorious while losing the least amount of lives. One boss is a crab-like creature that requires you to avoid its swinging claw while blasting its six legs to bring the center of mech down to ground level, allowing you to deal damage to the boss.

Magnet Bomber transforms into this most dastardly of mechanical crabs.

The sixth world is unlike the other five, as it purely two boss battles against the big bad of Super Bomberman R's story. However, they're alike in that you're awarded up to three stars each for how well you do on the world, just like every other in the game. Collecting power-ups and not losing a lot of lives means you get a higher grade, and trying to get three stars on each world in each of three difficulties (higher difficulties mean smarter and faster AI as well as less lives to start out with) makes for some good replay value here. It's also a great way of earning money to buy goods in the in-game shop.

Single player mode is overall not too bad, but it suffers from an atypical isometric camera view that can make it challenging to distinguish between different heights in levels and where enemies are. This is especially noticeable in levels with ramps, sometimes obscured by blocks and even the HUD. Thankfully, however, the control lag of this Switch Bomberman has since been patched by Konami, so one big problem of this mode and multiplayer has been remedied (though I would like to see grid-based movement added).

While this level isn't too bad, others with varying elevations can be hard to distinguish between heights.

Multiplayer is the other piece of Super Bomberman R and comes in the form of local and online play. Unfortunately, for a full-priced Bomberman game the lack of options available when customizing local matches is absolutely ridiculous and unforgivable. When a $10 Bomberman game released on the Xbox 360 almost a decade ago gives you the options to change AI difficulty and even switch out which item pickups are included and omitted in a match while a $50 Bomberman game doesn't, something is horribly wrong. The AI difficulty is of particular interest because including them battles makes for a completely unrewarding experience lacking much in the way of fun. The AI is simply too good, reading your control inputs and acting accordingly as if they can read your mind. Even Bomberman series masters will lose their cool to these computer-controlled bots from hell.

Up to eight players (either with controllers or with their own Switches) can unload bombs at one another locally.

Online multiplayer has two types of matches available: casual matches with strangers and league battles. The former can have you and some local buddies join in while league battles are for one player only. League battles give winners and all participants money depending on their places in battle, and the winner gets ranking points. When enough ranking points have been earned, they move a rank to a higher class of players. Online isn't optimal, as it's player-based connections which can result in some particularly lag-filled battles.

Beware: even defeated Bomberman can take you out via the Revenge Cart.

Super Bomberman R is a better game that what it started out with, and Konami has kept in touch with the community, starting that more updates are planned outside of their fix of the game's occasional input lag that seriously brought down the quality of the game. Still, I want to see the AI in multiplayer addressed as well as the ability to give players options in customizing multiplayer battles (even being able to earn money from local battles would do wonders for making that mode worthwhile to put up with the cheap AI). While Super Bomberman R isn't the absolute blast I wanted it to be, it's not a tremendous dud either. It's just average as of now.

[SPC Says: C]

Bomberman (PSP) Retro Review

I have a special announcement coming in about an hour or so from this post, so please look forward to that. In the meantime, keep yourself occupied with this all-new retro review for the PlayStation Portable version of Bomberman. How does it hold up? Find out with my review!

Bombs away!

Like another popular 'Man in gaming, Bomberman once had so many games that were coming out at once that they were overflowing out of that poofy thing that comes out of his head. However, like Capcom's Mega Man, Bomberman's best days are seemingly behind him with no new releases in sight. Still, that doesn't mean I can't explore his vast library and entertain myself, right? That's exactly the point of checking out the PlayStation Portable version of Bomberman, simply titled... well... Bomberman! Is it a blast or a dud?

Bomberman's PSP outing features two main solo modes to enjoy. The first is Normal Mode, while the second unlocks after the former has been completed. This mode is Classic, and it pits you against 50 increasingly more difficult levels.

Normal Mode is essentially the same as Classic, save that it has 100 levels total spread across 10 worlds. Each world houses its own gimmick, whether it be the Jungle World's network of pipes that can be walked through, yet can also house enemies, or the Desert World's transporter system.

Be mindful of your surroundings, Bomberman. You don't want to blow yourself up.

The main aim of each of these modes is the same: to eliminate all enemies within each level and reach the goal, hidden in one of the bomb-able soft blocks. This is harder than you might think because the AI is relatively smart. Enemies won't just stand there while you set bombs up next to them. They might hide in a safe haven away from the cross-shaped explosion pattern of Bomberman's bombs. Not only do you have to destroy the soft blocks that stand in Bomberman's path in order to make it to the enemies in a level, but you have to blow them up without torching your own rear end.

Some enemies like these stone golems take multiple blasts to bring down.

Normal Mode also differs from Classic because in Normal Mode, you can collect different item icons from destroyed soft blocks, cycle through them with the shoulder buttons, and use them whenever you want. Some items stay with you as long as you stay alive, such as additional bombs that can be set on screen at the same time, bigger explosion patterns, and faster movement for Bomberman. Other items are only active for one level, such as remote-controlled bombs that explode with a press of a button or being able to walk through soft blocks. Then there are items that are just temporary like the ability to weather bomb explosions or granting Bomberman an extra hit from an enemy or bomb that would otherwise be a loss of life.

Whereas with Classic Mode, you have a set amount of lives to get through all 50 levels, and the items you collect are instantly bestowed onto Bomberman. Unlike Normal Mode, when you die, the effects of your collected items aren't removed, so it's very RPG-like in building Bomberman's stats.

The first nine levels of each world in Normal Mode are typical "destroy-all-enemies" affairs, while the tenth level pits you and Bomberman against a boss of some variety, These encounters are generally enjoyable with patterns you need to watch out for, and show a lot of creativity. These boss battles mix things up greatly as otherwise the PSP version of Bomberman might feel a bit too repetitive, despite the game changing up the obstacles and gimmicks with each new world you visit.

This spider boss spins webs of the explosive kind.

In each fifth level of a world, you have the optional task (well, it's mandatory if you want to reach the tenth world) of collecting a key. This spawns from doing a variety of tasks that is dependent on the world: defeating all enemies, blowing up all soft blocks, or bombing the goal (something I didn't pick up on in the ninth world, wondering where the heck that blasted key was!). Collecting all of the keys in the first nine worlds unlocks the final series of ten levels.

Carefully take down all targets and reach the goal to clear each level.

Any Bomberman game worth its weight in bombs has to have a compelling multiplayer piece to it. After all, that's what this franchise is most known for, it's extensive and explosive multiplayer. In this PSP version, you have the ability to play with up to four PSP systems either with multiple copies of the game or through game sharing. It's important to note that this multiplayer is only available via Ad Hoc mode.

Regardless, the battle mode in this PSP version is robust and quite customizable, to say the least. You can set the AI difficulty (for if you are just by your lonesome), how many rounds, whether revenge mode and sudden death are on, which items are to be included, and whether you wish to play in teams or not. The amount of arenas is sizable, though many feature the same environments. Still, if you're looking for an excellent on-the-go multiplayer Bomberman, you'll get that and more with Bomberman on PSP.

With four players (either human, AI, or a combination of both), Bomberman's multiplayer is a blast.

Bomberman's PSP game uses competent 3D models for its characters, enemies, and environments. It all looks rather nice, and I have no complaints. The game also runs at a smooth clip, so there's never any case of accidentally blowing yourself up due to any frame-rate hitching. The music featured in Bomberman fits each world it's played in, and many times it got me to bop my head along to it.

Overall, Bomberman on PSP delights with its single player modes, though limited in replay value. Its multiplayer is where the game truly shines in its longevity, offering a multitude of modes and options to customize your multiplayer matches however you see fit. For its cheap price nowadays, Bomberman is an excellent, explosive romp that is ultimately a blast. That concludes not only my judgment of Bomberman, but also the bomb pun portion of this review.

[SPC Says: B-]

Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain (Multi) E3 Trailer

E3 week is underway, but rather than cover everything (that's a Herculean task even for a group of bloggers, much less just one), I would like to post trailers from games that most interest me. The first is Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, releasing on PlayStation 3 and 4, as well as Xbox 360 and Xbox One, and Steam. It launches September 1st. If you are wary of spoilers, you probably already know not check out a Hideo Kojima trailer, especially one that is over five minutes long. However, if you do decide to view this trailer, the hype for MGSV will be heightened greatly. I know that was the case for me!

BLTN Reviews: Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate (3DS) Review

Our second review of 2014 is for a game that released back in March of last year for the Nintendo 3DS. Hence why our special review segment called "Better Late Than Never Reviews" is back. Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate recently released on Xbox Live and PlayStation Network for Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 owners respectively. If that HD version is supposedly better than what is found on the 3DS, then Lords of Shadow fans will find a lot to love about it! Here's our review of the stereoscopic 3D version of Mirror of Fate!

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall,

Does Mirror of Fate Have It All?

With Castlevania: Lords of Shadow last generation, it was apparent that the developers at MercurySteam wished to separate their vision of Castlevania with the reputation the 20+ year-old series created for itself. With the release of Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate (short titles be damned!), MercurySteam seems to be trying to piece their vision and the gameplay of the original Lords of Shadow in 2D for a more classic feeling. Does Mirror of Fate shine brightly, or does it have a crack or two in it?

You know the name, but this
isn't the same Simon Belmont.

Mirror of Fate is split up between three chapters, each featuring a different character to play as-- Simon Belmont, Trevor Belmont, and Alucard. While each character has a few unique abilities that are already available to them at the beginning of their respective chapters, you will be efficient in the art of whip-snapping quickly. Using the X and Y buttons, one for overhead attacks for enemies in the air and one for regular attacks for grounded foes. You'll be using these buttons and various combinations to create combos, as well as because many of the enemies in Mirror of Fate are a bit of the damage sponge variety. They generally take a lickin' and keep on tickin'.

Whip it! Whip it good!

Of course, an enemy won't just stand there, crawl there, or lie there taking your punishment. No, an enemy will give you comeuppance in the form of its own attacks. Light attacks from enemies can always be guarded, and with a well timed block you can use it to your advantage to deal a counter blow. However, when a part of a foe shines, that means they are about to use an attack that can't be guarded. Instead, you need to evade using the same shoulder button to shield yourself and either pushing the Circle Pad to the left or to the right. While one can simply mash the attack buttons to get their way through some encounters, using a combination of attacks, well timed blocks, and great evasion skills really enhance the experience and make battles feel more engaging and worthwhile. MercurySteam has successfully brought the combo-heavy combat system of Lords of Shadow on home consoles and made a fully realized version in 2D form with Mirror of Fate.

What comes in threes gets roughed up in threes.

Bosses are in healthy supply in Mirror of Fate. From hulking executioners to revived demons, there is little subtlety in the designs and confrontations here. Each boss has its own attack pattern to learn. However, what separates Mirror of Fate from classic Castlevania games is that these encounters need not be mastered. That's because there are multiple checkpoints in battles. Each time a boss' health meter lowers to a certain point, the game saves your progress. Upon death (and a subsequent loading screen), you are revived with a good helping of health to continue the battle.

I prefer classic times when mace wasn't a
thing that annoyed women sprayed in your face.

That's an issue that makes the latest Castlevania a breeze to play. There is an overabundance of checkpoints within the game. There's no real sense of consequence for death. While this might seem great at first, it severely lowers the overall difficulty. Fall off a cliff? That's okay. You'll just respawn a few feet away after a relatively brief loading screen. That's the extent of Mirror of Fate's fury. It basically follows the modern game design approach of making the game more accessible to as many players as possible, yet it is not for the better in this case. It basically feels like a dumbed down version of Castlevania, even having tutorial messages pop up for the umpteenth time, as if the player could forget how to evade after doing it 600 times already. That said, that doesn't detract totally from the game. It's still a rather good time.

Mirror of Fate doesn't offer the same level of Metroid-style exploration as some of the more popular games in the series possess (i.e. the Eastern ones). There are multiple areas to embark in throughout Dracula's castle grounds, and there are abilities to earn that unlock new areas and secrets to reach. The difference is that there isn't as much in the way of backtracking and that Mirror of Fate's game world is much more fragmented, as there are three characters to play as throughout the game. The characters do share some common ground in Dracula's castle to explore, but most characters journey through uncharted territory.

Areas really are well designed in the artistic sense.

That isn't to say that Mirror of Fate's sense of exploration is much worse than post Symphony of the Night games-- it's just different. Learning new abilities like being able to swing from grapple points with a character's whip, double jumping, and dashing are enjoyable and open up the game world to satisfactory levels. This is important in acquiring optional content such as bestiary pages, scrolls from fallen past heroes, and treasures containing upgrades to health, magic, and ammunition for sub-weapons such as chucking holy crosses at baddies. Other exploration consists of careful precision jumping and climbing specially highlighted ledges.

I think the body is supposed to be detached if
you're trying to do that Hamlet/Yorick scene...

The camera in Mirror of Fate is rather dynamic. Occasionally moving slightly behind the shoulder of a Belmont or Alucard in battle or zooming out to present a sense of scale, such as when Trevor Belmont approaches the drawbridge of Dracula's castle. There were a few times where the camera would be focused on an enemy encounter when instead I simply wanted to retreat or simply pass by them. I would be on the extreme left or right side of the screen, not knowing what was ahead until the camera fixed itself.

A behind the shoulder view presents
a cool perspective for some encounters.

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate is definitely one of the most ambitious Nintendo 3DS games currently on the market. It features some breathtaking views, highly detailed characters and backgrounds, and a fully orchestrated soundtrack-- though the latter holds no candle to classic Castlevania tunes. Lovely cel-shaded cutscenes appear throughout the game, complete with proper voice acting to go along with them. It's really hard to say that MercurySteam didn't do a terrific job with the presentation of Mirror of Fate, so I'm not even going to try to say it!

At first glance it might seem that MercurySteam made a Castlevania game that seriously attempted to merge the 3D style of Lords of Shadow with classic 2D Castlevania games to one incredibly satisfying end product. Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate isn't exactly that, but it's not horrible by any means. In fact, I would dare argue that it's a very capable 2D hack-and-slash action game with some well done platforming elements to it. Those wanting a rebirth of Symphony of the Night or Dawn of Sorrow should look elsewhere, but those who enjoyed what MercurySteam had to offer on consoles with the original Lords of Shadow and like 2D side-scrollers with great production values will find Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate a nice proposition.

[SPC Says: 7.5/10]

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate (3DS) New Trailer

It only makes perfect sense for a new trailer of the Gothic glory of Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate to arrive on Halloween, no? Explore this new trailer with voice acting, some platforming, and demon-slaying action. Though the trailer promises a 20 hour campaign, you can bet it is probably a bit shorter.

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate (3DS) New Screens

Though the game was delayed to 2013, Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate (mouthful) isn't being shy about showing itself off to the gaming public. Check out seven new screens of the game. I'm all for 2D Castlevania, so I have a fair interest in this title.

Castlevania (NES) Guest Retro Review

Now, here's something completely different. I've never had a guest review that was a retro review at the same time. Can't say that anymore, I guess. My older brother enters Dracula's castle with wooden stake in hand to give us this review of Castlevania. With the upcoming Fall release of Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate for the 3DS, seems like a good time for this review. He wrote the actual review, I wrote the "witty" captions. Enjoy.

Whip It Good

Back in the mid-80s, many companies were trying to get the hang of creating their own platforming franchises to compete or at least offer an alternative to Nintendo's Mario series. One such company was Konami as they cracked the whip to deliver a franchise that has been going strong for over a quarter century now in Castlevania. While the series has had many classics along the way such as Symphony of the Night and Dawn of Sorrow, I wanted to go back to the roots of this franchise to see if they still held up after all these years.

Castlevania sees Simon Belmont running through six levels of three stages each to try and stop Dracula and his minions from terrorizing and transforming the populace into a deadly dystopia. You start off as a man with just a lame whip to attack, but that's okay. You can not only upgrade the whip twice as you go along, but Simon will also find sub-weapons like a cross, holy water, or an axe that he can use by press up along with the B button. You can only use the sub-weapons if you have enough hearts (the game's "magic" currency) to do so, and these can also be upgraded to be used up to three times onscreen at once by collecting tablets with the numbers II and III on them. If you collect a new sub-weapon, you have to recollect the tablets, so it's best to just stick with whatever weapon you find most valuable.

My brother insisted I write that this game 
has six levels. An inside joke, if you will.

While I'm glad there are plenty of ways to stick it to Dracula's undead armada, that certainly doesn't make the game an easy one. In fact, a good portion of the difficulty in this game comes from the fact that when you die, you lose all of your upgrades and current sub-weapon. This really got to me in a short stage in the middle of the game when you have to face two bone dragons right before a boss that hops around all over the place. Even though the whip got fully upgraded again, I had no reliable sub-weapon for taking down the boss or the dragons right before that fight and paid the price over and over again, watching as all of my extra lives dwindled down to zero. It was only when I managed to survive the entire level with my fully-upgraded self that I was able to beat that short but painful part.

Ah, stairs... the bane of my existence.

Enemies are also generally a nuisance when there are multiple ones on the screen at once. Any foe that flies will be a constant danger of knocking you down into a pit, but they'll usually be teamed up with harder enemies that need to be taken down before they deplete your health bar. Flea Men are the worst as they'll hop up, down, and all around to mess with your character that doesn't exactly have the grace of a Mario or Mega Man. In fact, once you've committed to a jump, you're stuck going in that direction until you land. That can and did mess me up on a couple of occasions, but it's nothing that breaks the game. It's just an old school NES platformer that expects you to memorize the levels and adjust to them.

Whoa. Nice makeup work, man!

Overall, I enjoyed my short time with the game, but I do feel that as with many platforming franchises that began on the NES, there would be sequels in the Castlevania series that would come along to refine the gameplay into a more enjoyable experience. Still, it's a pretty good starting point if you just want to have a title that you can pick up, play, and probably finish after an afternoon's worth of frustrating fun.

Overall: 7.0/10

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate (3DS) New Screens

The media keeps pouring out at this currently underwhelming E3. The next game to get coverage is Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate, an absolute mouthful of a title. That said, the actual game consists of 2D, 2-1/2D and 3D gameplay with all the Metroid-styled level design you could possibly want.

Top Five Worst E3 Moments

I had planned for this top five to be posted this Tuesday, after the big three press conferences were over and were but a memory. Instead, I feel that there's no better way to celebrate the oncoming locomotive steam train of news that is E3 arriving at the station than a list talking about the absolute worst moments in recent E3 history. These can be the most shameless, the most embarrassing, and/or the most impactful moments (and I don't mean impactful in a good way either). Let's start the list of negativity now!

5) Don Mattrick of Microsoft gives away 360s to game "journalists"

I've never hated game "journalists" more than this moment in time. Okay, that is a lie. They are always surprising me in their incompetence and corruptness. I am under the impression that Microsoft already has the western gaming press under its thumb for whatever reasons, but this moment at E3 2010 was just pathetic. Don Mattrick revealed that the newest model of the Xbox 360 was being shipped to stores on that day in a Sega Saturn-like announcement. Then he announced that the entire audience of man-children would be getting new models for no cost to them. The shot of the audience with two fat bastards (a great portrayal of your typical hardcore press) standing up and applauding says it all. Microsoft has the hardcore in their pocket, and this egregious and shameless showing displays exactly my problems with the enthusiast press and more so Microsoft as a whole.

Direct Link

4) Konami's E3 2010 "What the...?" Press Conference

This might be one of the most awkward yet awesome press conferences in more modern E3 times. I couldn't possibly rank it higher on the list because it is just... I don't even know how to explain it. Take people who shouldn't be doing presentations and let them loose to people who are just as socially awkward, and you have this presser. From Tak Fujii's ungraceful attempts to get applause for Ninety Nine Nights 2, one "mirron" troops... wow..., his extreeeeeme commentary about the player getting sucked, the Silent Hill guy who was oafishly close to his coworker to the point of him looking like he was wishing death on him, the wrestlers who were mindlessly slapping each other, and the dance game presentation, there was a lot of unintended hilarity to be found in this unpleasant press conference. Just watch the "best" moments and see for yourself.

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3) Microsoft's E3 2011 Kinect-centric Press Conference

The potential for Kinect is there, as I have said many times in the past. I do enjoy titles like Kinect Sports and Dance Central. That said, Microsoft essentially told their most adamant fan base at E3 2011 that "hey, guys. Thanks for the support throughout the years, but guess what? We really don't need you anymore. Yeah..." And this press conference happened. Kids on stage doing their best to look into the games ("fist bump!"), actors doing overenthusiastic movements and calls ("BLUE!"), demos that mimicked the actions of the on-stage players poorly, and a dude who tries way too hard to be cool. (Sunglasses inside is something that even Corey "I Wear My Sunglasses At Night" Hart wouldn't try.) Microsoft seems to be returning to their fan base this year with Halo 4 and a new Gears (personally, I outgrew shooters like these, but if it makes the fans happy, then good for them). Anything has to be better than the verbal and visual abortion that was their E3 2011 showing.

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2) Nintendo's E3 2008 Cammie-o Press Conference

Speaking of poor showings, I do feel bad for Cammie Dunaway, formerly of Nintendo. She was most likely a very nice lady, but an awful choice to showcase games for Nintendo's E3 2008 press conference. She embodied the soccer mom image that most critics of the Wii bashed on a consistent basis. (Personally between being a soccer mom and being a gamer nowadays, I'd rather be a soccer mom.) Between Ravi Drums, a group of grown men playing fake instruments to the tune of Wii Music (which I would go on to give a fairly positive review, actually), and several ill-conceived game demonstrations, Nintendo got a heavy dose of reality when they received a metric ton of negative feedback from fans and the press. Needless to say the next year Nintendo provided their fan base with several "core" software for the majority of their press conference. Lesson learned.

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1) Sony's E3 2006 $599 Press Conference

I could do without the commentary in the video, but it generally gets the point across of why Sony's E3 2006 press conference is the worst moment in E3 history. It was that impactful and made Sony go from number one to number three within the span of one generation. There's a lot to talk about here such as the obvious one-- the huge price tag of five hundred and ninety nine US dollars, the "not interested in gimmicks'' line followed by gimmicks, the RIIIIIIDGE RACER meme, the giant enemy crab, Phil Harrison's smug face declaring the Sixaxis controller innovative, calling rumble last-gen, and demos showing off the new motion controller in action... with little enthusiasm from the crowd. This press conference marked a turning point for Sony, and I don't mean a positive one either. The PlayStation name is a damaged one, but thankfully Sony has turned things around. They are making money on each unit sold, they have released some of the greatest titles of this generation, and their online system continues to grow and evolve. But just by impact and mind share in the industry alone, E3 2006 for Sony reaches the number one spot on this countdown.

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I don't usually like negative lists. I really feel that there is too much negativity already in the industry and by the press. I apologize for coming off as a hypocrite for writing an ill-toned list after that preface. Other moments I recall include Ubisoft's 2011 Mr. Caffeine, Jamie Kennedy's 2007 drunken speil for Activision's 2007 conference, and Nintendo's 2003 press conference where they basically admitted defeat and revealed Pac-Man VS as their big cornerstone game. What memories of bad E3 moments stand out for you? And which E3 conferences this year are you most excited about?